The Ultimate Edition

Signing Off?

Yep - you are looking at a new edition of Talking Bull, incredibly only the 2nd edition this year, and our first since the start of February - but is it our last?
My apologies to all our readers, the once weekly update on all goings on surrounding the Micketts has been reduced to just a tad more frequent than a General Election.
My excuses are far too easy - after moving house, and the arrival of our 3rd (Emily arrived on Thursday 28th April at exacly 15:00 weighing a healthy 8lb 6oz, but don't worry, I haven't published a video of the birth here - it was far too gory!). Add to this the uncertainty of continuing into a new season, with ever decreasing numbers and interest, it is not really surprising that things have been a little quiet of late.
This is really a catch-up edition, and as you read on, you'll realise that sadly, it looks as though we are finally calling time after 156 editions of Talking Bull, spanning nearly 5 years.

Fantasy Footy

This has been sadly neglected, and with the difficulty in back-tracking previous monthly scores, the BBC edition will now only contain the best 3 monthly totals. You can see them yourself by visiting our Best 3 Months table.
Having looked at this, I think Top Tart Returns are likely to be crowned the champions in a few weeks time.
The Sporting Life Fantasy Footy game, I haven't looked at this for a while either, and now my login or password are no longer recognised. With 'The Vanishing' (so I hear) still leading, and having done so for several months apparantly, I declare that John-Boy is the worthy winner.

They Think It's All Over?

Despite all the hard work from Smashie and Mezza over the last 9 months or more, it seems that all their effort in trying to revive the HMDL has come to nought.
In an 'emergency' committee meeting, called at the eleventh hour by Mick Coonan, the Micketts duo have been relieved of their duties by the current League Chairman. Coonan, who uses his BDO connections (although this normally only amounts to carrying a flag at Lakeside every 12 months) to try to carry weight in several local leagues, was not in any mood to listen to any reasons why the league fixtures were not available a week before the league season started, and criticised the lack of information on www.hanworthdarts.co.uk even though this source of news was not available this time last year. The meeting was called so late that neither Smashie nor Mezza could defend their corner, and against all league committee criteria, Coonan has taken the decision to run the league on his own.
We all know the real reason for Coonan's kick in the stomach - Greed. He could not accept that the Hanworth RBL could donate money into the leagues coffers to sponsor/host the competitions, insisting on some being run in his own pub, The Six Bells, so he could pocket the bar profits (at inflated beer prices too) with little coming back into the league.
The news comes as a real body blow for Smashie and Mezza, who have worked their arses off to get four new sides interested (Bell on the Green, Jolly Farmer, Bedfont Sports and Six Bells B), people easily forget how many other teams needed to be approached just to get the numbers up for a more competitive league AND keep the existing core of teams interested enough to pledge their futures to the HMDL.
Smashie and G Man, who regularly make 50 mile plus round trips to play in the league, have immediately pulled out of the Micketts side in protest (nothing against the Micketts, of course!), which means that we are extremely unlikely to have enough players to play this, or any other season under Mick Coonan. We would also urge all those teams who have joined up to seriously consider asking for a refund of their £20 subscriptions and return to the leagues from which you came.
We have long suspected that the HMDL is dying, and given the events of the last week, I think it has just been read the last rites. Thanks to our boys for really trying hard for trying to sail in a sinking ship. Thanks also to Coonan, who made an even bigger hole in our hull.

Six Bell Defence is Successful

The race for the Winter 2004/5 HMDL title went to the wire, and with Micketts needing to remain undefeated for the run-in to offer any challenge to the Bells, we got off to the worst possible start, following our 10-11 defeat at last seasons defending champions, we went down 9-12 at home to The White House, in a game which didn't get going until after 9pm with Smashie and G Man's late arrival.
Home victories followed against the Coach & Horses (15-6) and The Ranch A (16-5) before a successful visit to the White House (13-8).
With three consecutive losses to the Six Bells, we needed to beat them at home to give us any chance to catch them, and turned things around with a superb 12-9 win on our own turf. A big win was all that stood between us and a chance to life the trophy, and that win needed to be in our last fixture of the season, away to the White House on 31st March.
A poor early start gave us a mountain to climb, and we never repeated the league win at the same venue three weeks earlier, this time going down 10-11, and losing the title by a mere 4 points. Had we registered another 13-8 win as before, we would have tied.
The trophy goes for a second consecutive season the The Six Bells. Well done to Robby, Garry, Byn, Steve, Arne and Marrie - it's a shame we'll probably never do battle again...

Clean Sweep for Micketts on Finals Night

Having had to content ourselves with the runners up in the league this season, Micketts added the League Pairs (Smashie and Mezza), League Fours, Mixed Pairs (Smashie and Peg) and Singles (Smashie) titles. There was a runners up award for G Man in the Captain's cup, but overall a successful evening's work. I bet that got right up Coonan's nose!

Taylor on Course

With seven wins and a draw in eight premiership matches, Phil Taylor not only booked his place in the finals of the 888.com premier league next month, he looks odds an on certainty to take the £50,000 winners cheque.
With two points for a win, and one for a draw, The Power has 15 points from eight matches, three clear of current World number one, Colin Lloyd, and over double the tally for third placed Roland Scholten.
Taylor's tournament average is 100.66 for every three darts thrown, over 5 points ahead of Lloyd (95.38) with every player still to play 5 further matches.
The event comes to it's climax on May 30/31 with all matches live on Sky Sports

Anoraks Corner

Should this be the last ever Talking Bull, then this is the last ever stats summary. Here are just a few notable milestones:

* Smashie has clocked up 400 singles wins in fewer than 500 matches.
* Mezza clocks up over 750 wins in (1134 legs) hitting 42 maximum's en-route.
* John-Boy features in the winning side in over 100 league fours matches
 
Remember, please visit the stats page for any more information you need to know about any player or team since our records began.

Looking Forward

We have to look forward, and not back, and with the league committee effictively pulling the plug on all that is worth keeping functional in the HMDL, Smashie and G Man are off to pastures new to try our luck in Frimley Green - ironically the home of the most prestigious World Darts event in the BDO's calendar, and a location known well by none other than Mick Coonan, on the BDO members list.
For the two now former Micketts, we are looking to ply our recreational trade at Frimley Green Working Mens Club, who play twice a week, and conveniently have places for a couple more seasoned players - I think we might fit in there!
Let's hope that one day, in the not too distant future, like a phoenix from the ashes again rises a team we can be proud to call Micketts.

The General Election

Micketts news brought you and update on the General Election last time out in a classic editiion of Talking Bull (#25) on the 24th May 2001 - you can still read the original newsletter in our archives.
For those of you who are wavering just a little, here are some highlights from the Monster Raving Looney Party's official manifesto - there are some real winners here:
* Defence: Buckingham Place will be defended by triffids, cultivated by Prince Charles.
* Econonmy: We will issue a 99p coin to save change
* Environment: Half the grey squirrel population will be painted red in order to increase the red squirrel population.
* Education: Bright pupils will be provided with dimmer switches to prevent them distracting the rest of the class.
* Law and Order: All police will be made to say HELLO, HELLO, HELLO when making an arrest.
* Immigration: everyone wanting to come and live in the UK will be made welcome, so long as they are over the age of 85 and accompanied by both parents.
* Royalty: In future the National Anthem will be ‘Bring Me Sunshine’ as sung by Morecambe and Wise.
* Sport: In view of the new sports being introduced into the Olympic Games we intend to make ‘Synchronized farting’ a national sport.
* The Elderly: All O.A.Ps will have the luxury of a woolly muff and free electric chairs
Brilliant - simple policies for a simple Britain - they will certainly get my vote this year!